Co-parenting relationships are often fraught with tension. While both parents theoretically want what is best for the children, they may disagree with each other about what that actually entails. Parents may find themselves frequently arguing with one another or going back to court. They may need the assistance of a judge to clarify their parental rights and responsibilities or resolve their disagreements with one another.
Adults who add the right terms to a parenting plan early in custody negotiations can limit the likelihood of major conflicts later. One common inclusion in modern parenting plans involves extending the right of first refusal to the other parent.
What does that typically mean?
The right has to do with childcare and parenting time
Generally speaking, each parent has a responsibility to address childcare matters during their own parenting time. Each parent may have a babysitter that they use or a daycare provider they trust. Some people also leave their children with their immediate family members or new romantic partners.
It is normal for one parent to worry about the childcare decisions made by the other. The right of first refusal helps one parent keep their children out of a dangerous or unhealthy environment. A parent who has to leave their children during their parenting time and thus requires child care has to offer the other the option of spending that time with the children before they bring in outside support.
The parent who does not currently have parenting time has the right to accept or decline the additional parenting time before the other one makes alternate arrangements. Particularly in cases where there are concerns about neglect or abuse if a child stays with family members or a romantic partner, the right of first refusal can be incredibly important.
It can give a parent peace of mind and the ability to push back against choices that might endanger their children. It can also give a parent more time with their children, which is almost always beneficial. If the other parent doesn’t uphold the right of first refusal, then enforcement or modification efforts may be necessary.
Learning more about common terms included in parenting plans can help those negotiating a division of parental rights and responsibilities. Parents who focus on the right protective terms can potentially spend more time with their children.