Sharing child custody is not easy. Parents have to deal with regular transitions, which can make their children emotional. They also have to plan their lives around when they have time with their children. As difficult as it can be to share custody, some parents find it especially difficult because the other parent isn’t cooperative.
Instead of following the terms outlined in the custody order, they regularly deviate from the court order. They cancel their parenting time without advance notice or try to make adjustments at the last minute with no consideration for the consequences of their behavior. Particularly when a co-parent regularly fails to show up for their parenting time, their misconduct can cause a cascade of challenges.
How can those dealing with a no-show co-parent address yet another cancellation?
Document everything
People sometimes worry that keeping records of the failures of a co-parent might make them look uncooperative or contentious. However, without clear records, they cannot show that there has been a pattern of inappropriate behavior. Keeping records of how many parenting sessions one parent cancels can make it quite clear that the actual breakdown of parenting time is far different than the terms included in the custody order. Details that affirm that the changes come at the last minute or without communication can also prove beneficial.
Support the children
Frequently, children who do not get to see their parents as intended feel rejected as a result. They may cry or become angry. They may insist that they don’t want to see the other parent anymore. Their sense of rejection can lead to them withdrawing from social relationships or developing lower self-esteem. The parent who is there for the children may need to break the news as gently as possible without disparaging the other parent while reminding the children of how important and valuable they actually are. Children may need to hear that they are not the reason that the other parent is unreliable.
Modify the custody order
When cancellations and shortened parenting sessions become the standard, those circumstances make it clear that the current custody arrangement does not work for the family. Particularly when the cancellations take an emotional toll on the children, the other parent may be able to convince a judge that adjusting the overall division of parenting time is likely in the best interest of the children. A judge can adjust the parenting schedule to reflect how frequently the other parent actually has custody.
Understanding how to handle various challenges that arise in a shared custody scenario can help parents do right by their children. Parents dealing with regular cancellations may need to take action to protect their finances and the emotional well-being of their kids.