Divorcing spouses are far more likely to both earn an income than they were 50 years ago when men were the primary “breadwinners” in the family. In many cases, women earn as much, if not more, than their husbands do. This means men are more frequently seeking and receiving alimony than they used to. However, a former official with the American Bar Association says that “men receiving support is still the exception rather than the rule.”
Further, as the head of the Association of Matrimonial Lawyers points out, judges tend to award less alimony to men – and for a shorter period – than to women. Indeed, it is widely argued that judges tend to have higher expectations of men who are awarded spousal support when it comes to proving that they’re not intentionally staying below their earning potential than they do of women.
Judges can and should look at the roles that each spouse played during the marriage when determining alimony. In both opposite-sex and same-sex marriages, if one spouse put their career on the back burner to be a stay-at-home parent or to be able to travel with their spouse and support their career, for example, that would likely be a consideration in determining how much support they should receive and for how long while they seek to become self-supporting.
Considering the marital standard of living
Another consideration is the standard of living the couple had during the marriage. If that standard was largely based on one spouse’s income, that can be a consideration in how much to award the lesser-earning spouse. In general, alimony (at least with longer-term marriages) is intended to provide some equivalence in both spouses’ post-divorce standards of living.
It’s crucial for men to know that they may be entitled to receive alimony for the same reasons that many women do. It’s also important to recognize that there’s still some stigma around men getting alimony – particularly in opposite-sex marriages – that they may have to deal with in and out of court.
It’s typically best when a divorcing couple can agree on spousal support on their own, with the guidance of their individual legal representatives. However, if they can’t, and the decision has to be made by a judge, it’s important to present a strong case, based on the law, regardless of gender.